Here are 11 of the many reasons that someone in an unhealthy or toxic situation might stay with their partner. Often when an abusive situation happens, it is followed by the abuser doing something nice or apologizing and promising that they will never do it again.
This makes their partner minimize the original abusive behavior. Many times, leaving an abusive relationship is not only emotionally difficult, but can also be life-threatening. In fact, the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is post break-up. Women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time during the relationship. People in abusive relationships often attempt to break up with their partner several times before the break up sticks.
On average, a person in an abusive relationship will attempt to leave 7 times before finally leaving for good. And while being loyal is a great thing, a good friend or partner would never endanger or hurt you. After a conflict, an abuser will turn the situation around and make their partner feel guilty or as though they are somehow at fault. This type of behavior is known as gaslighting. A lot of people in abusive relationships stay in them because they love their partner and think that things will change.
Never stay in a relationship in which you count on someone to change their behavior for the better. There is incredible pressure to be in a perfect relationship, and some cultures and social media only accentuate this pressure. Wanting to be a Savior. I would fix him and teach him love. And I valued their lives more than my own. Family Expectations and Experiences.
Financial Constraints. A common tactic of manipulative partners is to separate their victim from family and friends. Although these eight reasons for staying are common, they do not describe every victim and situation. Women can also be perpetrators, and there are many patterns of violence. One reason many victims hesitate to speak up is because they are afraid of being judged and pressured by friends and professionals. Jason B. Whiting, Ph. He researches deception, communication, and abuse in relationships and is the author of the upcoming book Love me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways We Deceive in Relationships For more information visit drjasonwhiting.
Kantor, J. New York Times. Cravens, J. Contemporary Family Therapy. DOI Whiting, J. Appraisal distortions and intimate partner violence: Gender, power, and interaction. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy. Barnett, O. Family violence across the lifespan: an introduction 3rd ed. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage. Johnson, M. A typology of domestic violence: Intimate terrorism, violent resistance, and situational couple violence.
Boston: Northeastern University Press. In an emergency, call — or your local emergency number or law enforcement agency. The following resources also can help:. It can be hard to recognize or admit that you're in an abusive relationship — but help is available.
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Healthy Lifestyle Adult health. Products and services. Domestic violence against women: Recognize patterns, seek help Domestic violence is a serious threat for many women. By Mayo Clinic Staff. Thank you for Subscribing Our Housecall e-newsletter will keep you up-to-date on the latest health information. Please try again. Something went wrong on our side, please try again. Show references Breiding MJ, et al. Accessed Dec. Goldman L, et al. Intimate partner violence. In: Goldman-Cecil Medicine.
Elsevier; Weil A. Intimate partner violence: Diagnosis and screening.
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